this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
