Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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