I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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