Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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