u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
