Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Randomize
