so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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