she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Randomize
