just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
