i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
