Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
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