we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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