you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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