he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
