the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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