i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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