She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
