I can feel you judging me through the phone.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
