It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
