so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
