I wanna bring you to show and tell
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
