Michael Bay diarrhea
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
