This dress was meant to end up on your floor
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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