Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
