She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
