You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
he fucked my hip out of place.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
