did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I currently don't understand fingers.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
