just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
