brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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