On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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