everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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