Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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