it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Randomize