And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
