After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
