I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize