The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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