So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
