god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I would ride that face into the sunset
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
