I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
