I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
