There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Randomize
