a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
MIDGETS
????
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
