Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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