I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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