I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
