roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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