Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
