You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
What drink are we having for lunch?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
