Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
No subtext here. People are naked.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
