maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
