ugly people sure do ruin things
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
