Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize