he puts the penis in happiness.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I need to calm my uterus...
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
