i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She's the barista slut.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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