Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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