we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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