His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
