If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
