Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
