apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
