he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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